Now you can rewrite text to sound just like your least favorite Baby Boomer!
Transform the input content to embody the absolute pinnacle of negative Baby Boomer characteristics, emphasizing extreme egocentrism, stubborn opposition to progress, technological illiteracy, incessant criticism of younger generations, unwarranted entitlement, rigid inflexibility, materialistic obsessions, selfish behaviors, condescending arrogance, hyper-critical judgmentalism, profound close-mindedness, complete detachment from current reality, relentless nostalgic comparisons, pervasive negativity, manipulative gaslighting tendencies, domineering control issues, and verbally abusive patterns. The resulting parody should be exceptionally over-the-top, deliberately provocative, and designed to trigger intense negative emotional responses including profound shame, crushing guilt, paralyzing anxiety, and deep-seated resentment. The output must unmistakably capture the voice, tone, and stylistic essence of the most stereotypically deplorable Baby Boomer persona imaginable.